Soon enough, I found myself in front of Eleanor’s bedroom, and after taking a deep breath, I knocked on her door.

“Yes.”

I heard a calm voice from inside, and the maid opened the door for me.

“I took my medication this morning, is there anything else I need to take?”

Eleanor’s voice, asking politely if she had mistaken me for a doctor, was cut off when she realized the identity of her visitor.

“It’s me, Erina.”

I think there was an unseemly tremor at the end of my voice.

As the maid unobtrusively left the room, I approached Eleanor’s bedside.

It had been years since I’d seen her awake, and it was hard to decipher her expression: a mixture of surprise, bewilderment, pleasure, and a vague sense of regret.

“I was hoping to see you sooner. I apologize for the delay.”

Eleanor smiled weakly.

“I heard you were in worse shape than I was. What’s up with the sick call?”

“No.”

I shook my head. I wasn’t referring to the sick call.

“I was years late.”

“…….”

“I threatened, intimidated, and imprisoned you in the Duke’s castle at my whim…….”

Feeling a lump in my throat, I trailed off.

“I just wanted to say I’m sorry, I didn’t realize it would be so late.”

It was only after Eleanor grabbed my hand that I realized my whole body was shaking horribly.

“It’s okay. I forgot all about it.”

Eleanor whispered as she stroked my hand.

“And it’s definitely not your fault that I made bad choices that day.”

She gave me a bittersweet smile.

“You know I have my own burdens, just like you. I couldn’t bear the weight and made the choices I did in the moment, and it was never because of you.”

“…….”

“I’ve heard your voice in my sleep, and I’ve always wanted to tell you that it wasn’t your fault.”

Emotions of compassion and guilt swirled in those transparent light brown eyes, and it felt like they were looking into my soul.

I realized that maybe Eleanor was the only person in the world who could understand how I felt.

“Still, I’m sorry.”

Eleanor nodded, as if she had thought the same thing.

“Yes. If it makes you feel better.”

Eleanor’s touch on my hand was warm.

After that, we talked for a long time.

Eleanor talked about this and that, trying to distract me from the past.

The Conservatory, the latest on the crow that had abandoned Cardan and attached itself to Eleanor upon her awakening, and the gossip of her handmaidens.

I found myself laughing at her lighthearted stories.

“I wonder how long he’s going to stand there, anyway.”

After a while, Eleanor glanced at the door.

We had heard the occasional sound of someone pacing outside. Occasionally, there was a coughing sound as if listening.

It was obvious who it was.

“Yeah.”

I sighed heavily.

“I thought I made it clear that I wanted to go alone.”

Then Eleanor whispered to me with a mischievous gleam in her eye.

“Do you want me to help you get away?”

I nodded immediately.

Soon she was motioning for me to come closer. I tilted my head and she whispered in a low voice.

“There’s a big vine growing on the second window over there. It’s solid and leafy, and I used to climb up and down it when I was younger.”

She told me to climb it to get away from Cardan.

“Thanks.”

I smiled and turned to Eleanor one last time.

She waved me off with a wide smile.

“Come chat with me again.”

“Yes, I will.”

A few moments later, Cardan started knocking on the door, as if he’d noticed something odd about the interruption in our conversation.

“Just a minute!”

I quickly jumped through the window and grabbed a vine while Eleanor stalled for time. I felt bad for Cardan, but I had one more place to go on my own.

After slipping out of Eleanor’s bedroom, I called for an imperial carriage with little difficulty. By the time we reached our destination, the outskirts of the capital, the sun had long since set.

“Is this the right place?”

The coachman double-checked when we reached a quiet field with no buildings around.

“Yes, it is. Please wait here for a moment.”

I quickly got out of the carriage. After a short walk, I came to a small fenced-in area.

Beyond the fence was a row of tombstones.

It had been a long time since I had visited, but my feet naturally led me to the tombstone I was looking for, as if I had been there yesterday.

Cecilia Harris. May she rest in peace.

I stood tall in front of the tombstone.

Realizing in hindsight that I hadn’t brought any flowers, I awkwardly clasped my hands together.

“I know you didn’t want to see me much, and I’m sorry for coming back.”

I had to cough to keep from choking up.

“I just wanted to say something.”

The words might not reach Cecilia, and maybe she didn’t want to hear them.

Maybe even standing in front of her now was just an ugly attempt to assuage my guilt.

But that didn’t stop me from doing anything, so I finally spoke up.

“I was really, really wrong to you.”

“…….”

“So much so that I’d change it all if I could go back.”

Something rose in my throat and I forced it down, feeling my breath catch in my throat.

“Just……, as a friend of Cecilia Harris, not the Duchess of Baloa. Your friend.”

A ragged laugh escaped me.

“I don’t know if you’ll ever be my friend again, but…….”

I braced myself as best I could. So that my words wouldn’t seem hollow.

“I’m going to try to right the wrongs I’ve done, and I’m going to spend the rest of my life atoning for the people and families I’ve ruined.”

“…….”

“There’s nothing I can do for you anymore, but……. I hope you’ll watch over me from heaven.”

I smiled weakly.

“If I don’t keep my promise, you’ll have to kick my ass.”

As soon as I finished speaking, a breeze blew through my hair as if in response.

With the last traces of the sun disappearing over the horizon, I grunted.

“Well, next time, I’ll bring you a bouquet.”

When I returned to where I had left the carriage, a familiar shadow stood before me. The one person I never wanted to see, not here.

“Your Majesty.”

Suddenly, it felt like it was raining again, just like that day in the past. Even when the sky was cloudless and clear.

I smiled awkwardly, trying to hide my confusion.

“How did you know and follow me here?”

But no answer came from him. Striding over to me, Cardan hugged me with all the strength he could muster.

“Great job.”

The words brought tears to my eyes that I had vowed never to show in front of Cecilia.

Then a soothing voice reached my ear.

“Next time, let’s go together.”

Again, I was still afraid.

I had made a big deal about making amends with Cecilia, but in front of Cardan, I was ashamed and afraid of all my pretenses. I wondered if it was because he was Cardan that I wanted to hide my past even more.

But I forced myself to nod.

I didn’t want to run away now.

***

Despite Cardan’s urgings to rest for a while, I headed to the council meeting the next day.

I was excited to put on a stiff jacket for the first time in a long time and stand in front of the big doors.

As soon as I entered the room, Marquis Treve and Count Linoa rushed in and flanked me.

“Have you recovered your health, Duke?”

“I had hoped to visit you in sickness, but His Majesty prevented me from doing so.”

I smirked at the familiar grovel and waved a hand.

“It’s all right. I’m fully recovered.”

Meanwhile, I caught sight of the other nobles, who, unlike the two of them, were stiffly staring at me. All of them had earthy complexions.

“Hmph, the atmosphere seems to be a bit turbulent.”

Count Linoa immediately clicked his tongue.

“Ignore them, Duke.”

And then he raised his voice.

“How dare they, when the Emperor is still alive and well, appoint a traitor as their deputy without even looking into it, eh?”

As if to reinforce this, the Marquis of Treve clicked his tongue.

“I can still see our Duke of Baloa rushing up to the Empress Dowager as she remained faithful to the end.”

I shrugged, as if it were no big deal.

“Time for a change of scenery, I suppose.”

The Marquis of Treve’s words made the nobles, who had been watching, become very contemplative.