Chapter 9

God has abandoned me.

No, in the first place, God has never been with me.

No, going even deeper, I’ve never believed in God. But in this situation, I couldn’t help but draw a cross on my chest, screaming for a God whose existence I didn’t even know.

My past, entangled with alcohol, passed like a mirage.

From the days of my twenties when I claimed to know my alcohol tolerance and roamed the streets with friends, to the days when I got slapped by my sister while nursing a hangover, my life became hazy with a 50% opacity.

I savored the makgeolli, and by dawn, as I woke up on a park bench, I even wrote a letter to my sister, making a promise.

– Sister, seriously! Seriously! I won’t do it again. If I black out again, I’m a complete mess.

Woof woof.

– What are you talking about? You’ve been a mess for a long time. What crazy person drinks until their phone turns off without knowing it? Oh my, in this world, that’s my brother? Do you want to go back to the beginning? Should I bury you in the park where you used to sleep?

– Oh, sister. Please, please! I promise I won’t let my phone die again. Huh? Huh?

Starting today, Minsu is the second child in our house.

Clasping my forehead with both hands, I couldn’t recall the past.

I wanted to shatter my head with a drinking glass.

Callian disappeared from view as if there were no more words to be said, and the servants closed their mouths as if they had made a pact.

“××.”

It seemed like I should ask, but I also wanted to never know.

Based on several experiences, I had learned that the days when the film ran out were never ordinary until I drank myself into oblivion.

It was either to break my own head or someone else’s. Considering Callian’s face, it was more likely to be someone else’s, but I couldn’t be sure.

The habit of drinking was far from mild, making it even more disturbing.

Who would have known that all it took was to make a mess!

Adriana’s organs seemed more vulnerable to alcohol than I thought.

Throughout my shower, my head rang as if it had become a temple bell.

Countless hypotheses floated around me.

Let’s just forget it. Even if I tried to recover the broken film, all that remained were scars and shame.

Singing in the hall was one thing to be thankful for, but singing love songs in bed was a different story—

“Ah, ××.”

I imagined it. Psh!

I spent several days confined to my bedroom, even eating meals there, but I couldn’t continue like this any longer.

Avoiding Callian for a day or two was one thing, but I couldn’t keep hiding forever. I might even have to confront him, physically if necessary!

Anyway, it was a waste of time to come to the capital for the first time and stay cooped up in the mansion.

Above all, the day when the rice was supposed to arrive was approaching.

It took longer than expected due to the large order, but I could wait for a few more days.

I needed to start looking into how to make makgeolli-like alcohol slowly.

I also needed to research rituals to summon beings from other worlds.

“Are you going out, madam?”

“Yes, I’m going to the Imperial Library.”

“In that case, should I prepare a carriage—”

“No, I want to go as I am. I don’t need a carriage. I’ll go alone.”

“At least an escort,”

“Are there any other conditions for accessing the Imperial Library?”

“Other than the Emperor’s permission, there are none. Madam, of course, you can use it anytime.”

“Then, there’s no problem.”

The nobleman’s mansion was closer to the palace the higher one’s status was.

I don’t know if it was a real estate issue, but in any case, from the mansion of a high-ranking Duke, there was enough time for carriage preparation and an escort to reach the palace.

Even if I arrived right in front, it might be better to take a carriage to get to the library itself.

I loosely tied my hair back and chose brown boots.

It wasn’t the most elegant attire, but in the library, where the sound of footsteps was unheard, comfortable clothing was the best.

The library was easy to enter without any apparent tension.

I was recognized and greeted by someone who knew Adriana’s face before I even presented the ring with the family crest.

The library had the dry and languid scent characteristic of places where sunlight lingered for a long time.

Perhaps due to a series of events, starting with the Crown Prince’s banquet and followed by various other events in the capital, not many people had come to the library.

Everything was fine, but with such large windows, wouldn’t the book spines get damaged?

The bookshelves were tall enough to require a ladder to reach the top, and there was also a basement.

It was spacious, but it didn’t have the grandeur one might expect from a palace. When I saw the map that extended down to eight floors underground, I became a bit weary.

I don’t like books; I prefer texts that are exciting with clear beginnings and endings. Theoretical works are too tedious…

At first, I searched from the first to the third basement floor for books related to other worlds, but I couldn’t find anything that seemed right.

It was even more challenging because the content couldn’t be filtered based solely on titles and table of contents.

Darn it, there are dragons and saintesses, and yet there’s no book search function?

After spending nearly half a day in the basement, my head felt heavy.

After being confined to my bedroom for a few days and surviving on plain bread and soup, I had barely recovered from the hangover.

I wanted some hearty bean sprout rice soup… Being stuck in the damp underground library made me even wish for a condom on my head.

Darn it.

I wanted to make a fuss in the library like I did with Callian before arriving in the capital, even build a campfire, or something. But I had a conscience, and I knew that starting a fire in a place filled with paper would make me look like a mere firewood.

“Madam Adriana?”

“Whoa- Ah, Your Imperial Highness.”

I was leaning against the innermost bookshelf when I met the Empire’s little sun, just as radiant and neat as I had seen at the banquet.

As I had seen at the banquet, he had lively and well-defined features.

He wasn’t as extravagantly dressed as he was at the time, but with just a plain shirt and black pants, he was still exceptionally handsome.

He seemed to have shed the air of a young boy, and I quite liked it.

However, the scent of a dominant alpha male over thirty, like Duke Nari from the Northern Dukedom, was quite intimidating, to be honest.

Aesthetically pleasing, you see. For now, I prefer someone my age, after all.

“Did you sleep well last night?”

“Yes, I slept well, but… Why are you standing so far away?”

Rather than being a few steps behind to maintain decorum, I was almost at the very end, the farthest distance while still being able to converse.

“You certainly weren’t this far ahead earlier, were you?”

“Ahaha…”

It was a dry laugh, attempting to defuse the situation, but with a slightly lacking will to do so.

As a diversion, I held three thick books in my arms and walked towards the Crown Prince.

It was subtle, but he was definitely taking a few steps back.

“Your Highness.”

“Yes?”

“Do you have something to say to me?”

“Uh, well, feel free to speak. As I mentioned before, about Callian…”

“I understand. Sir Arnen, do you have something to say to me?”

“Well, you see… It seems like you really enjoy alcohol…”

Arnen’s gaze shifted away from me towards the things I was carrying. “The Empire’s History of Spirits,” “Secrets of Alcohol You Didn’t Know,” and “The Brewing Techniques of 1500 Years.” All of them were thick, tightly packed books with minimal indentation.

“Yes, well… But why are you gradually moving farther away?”

“No, why would I do that?”

Even as he said that, Arnen couldn’t look me in the eye directly. Or was he intentionally avoiding eye contact?

Callian’s expression was different from the usual way he looked at me. It was subtly uncomfortable and made me feel uneasy.

I had initially overlooked it and lay down on the bed, but then I suddenly realized, “Wait, what was that about?” and pulled the covers up, getting up immediately.

“I,”

“Yes?”

Ah, this was like when a friend had been shielding me for ten years, saying, “Well, at least they’re really nice,” while cheering me up about an idol scandal!

“Well, don’t worry about what happened last night. It was a nice moment, and there was no ill intent on your part, right? I’m fine, so let’s just forget about it.”

The ancestral god’s signal, rising from the altar, took control of my eardrums.

“…Uh, thank you for your kindness.”

“Not at all. How about having a cup of tea or something next time, together with Callian?”

You know, they say that even when you can’t figure out the situation, if you just play along, you can get half of what you want.

And there’s also a saying that goes, “If you stay still, you can get half.”

Combining them, it becomes “Just play along, and if you stay still, you can get everything.”

“I’d welcome that anytime.”

Your face is also welcome, if you know what I mean.

We parted ways on the first floor with a refreshing feeling.

The library had even fewer people than before, and the sun had set a long time ago.

As I carried three thick books in my arms, I reflected on the mistakes I couldn’t remember.

My stomach was empty, and the air was cool, making my head feel clear.

We danced, we danced, and then we had some finger foods. Canapés and small cakes, and then a light apple wine for a snack-

After having the apple wine, we drank the next one, and then the one next to it, one glass after another…

Oh. Oh! Oh… expletive. I hit my forehead with the book I was holding, just like that.

I wanted to go back to just 5 seconds ago when I didn’t know my past self.

What’s the most delicious alcohol in the world? That would be makgeolli.

The second most delicious alcohol would be makgeolli mixed with cider.

The third most delicious alcohol would be night makgeolli – Anyway, when ranking delicious alcohols like this, excluding makgeolli, what’s the most delicious one? Well,

that would be mixed drinks.

Mixing beer and soju with cola, mixing soju with grape juice, mixing a clear and beautiful cocktail that matches CMYK colors – there’s nothing quite as exotic and exhilarating in the world.

So, in that hall, I mixed alcohol like crazy. Pretending to uphold the family’s reputation was quickly forgotten. From the moment I broke my ankle while dancing with the prince and drifting, wasn’t my dignity already buried under the glasses?

As the Emperor and Empress left their seats, the atmosphere in the hall became more relaxed and lively.

There were many rooms in the palace. There were even more places for intimate conversations or discreet encounters.

Amidst people scattering and gathering in groups, I steadfastly drank alcohol.

The wine had a slightly milder flavor compared to the alcohol from the provinces, but I liked its sweetness, and the aftertaste was delightful, whether it was brandy or something else.

It seemed like someone was trying to talk to me, but I didn’t pay attention, busy pouring the contents of a small glass into a larger one, creating bubbles.

I should have quietly gone home, but after drinking all sorts of alcohol for the first time in a while, my excitement soared to the chandeliers.

The live orchestra playing in real-time was of a quality that would cost around 151,000 won in Korea, at the very least. Well, not that you can’t put a price on such things, but…

Anyway, the music was beautiful, the alcohol was delicious, and I couldn’t help but feel good.

Filled with that heightened excitement, I left the hall and made a donation.

There were a few people around, but as I delved deeper, I was completely alone.

Rich classical music echoed from a distance, and the air was clear. In my improved mood, I closed my eyes and danced alone.

“Lady Adriana?”

Prince Arnen Rilian, the protagonist of the banquet, saw it.

A dance that was strange and peculiar in this world. Shoulders creaking, pelvis swaying front and back, left and right.

“Ah, Your Highness.”

It was a familiar sight. Black hair and clear green eyes, as if-

“Minsu?”

There was Minsu. Our cat, my baby!

“Yes? What did you just say-“

“Minsu! Why are you here?”

Our Minsu! His black fur still shimmered. After eating so much food and running on the cat wheel all day, he had become muscular.

“Our Minsu! You’ve grown so much!”

“Adriana, ma’am?”

“Huhu, but Minsu, are you drunk too? That’s not my name.”

“Um, excuse me?”

“Our Minsu, how do you not know my name… I fed you and took care of you, huhu, you ungrateful little furball…”

“Excuse me, hello?”

I hugged Minsu, who had grown so big all of a sudden, and sobbed.

“Oh, our Minsu! But why are you so skinny?”

“What?”

“You see, you should eat your food properly! Ah, I must not have taken care of your food… The food should be here somewhere.”

I need to feed our Minsu… I should be the one taking care of it, but as I lowered my head, there was a mountain of food piled under my feet. The organic food I chose with my sister for Minsu! It’s even more expensive than regular food, costing fifty thousand won!

“Our Minsu, let’s have dinner.”

“Um, that’s dirt-“

As I scooped the food into my hand and brought it to his mouth, this little rascal shook his front paw. He might scratch my skin again.

“Even if you don’t want to eat, you have to, buddy. There will be times when you have to eat it all. Come on, ah!”

“Excuse me?”

“Why aren’t you eating…?”

Even when I brought the food close to his mouth, he tightly closed his mouth, causing the food to spill out. He usually ate well, so why was he acting like this today?

“Minsu, stop being so stubborn!”

“I’m telling you, it’s dirt-“

As I held onto Minsu and tried to feed him, a man was approaching quickly from a distance. The more I looked, the more I felt something…

“Who is that guy who looks like a Northern Grand Duke…?”

“What?”

“Oh my, he’s even talking? He looks like he jumped out of a book.”

“Arnen, what is this about?”

“Callian. Adriana, please help. She seems completely drunk.”

A typical male lead or perhaps a dark-skinned merchant-type person separated me from Minsu.

“What’s going on, kid!”

“Our Minsu needs to eat! Our cute, chirping Minsu… adorable Minsu…”

“She seems drunk. My apologies. I’ll leave first.”

“Uh, uh…”

Being lifted like a sack of rice, I felt like a pile of luggage. Hello, my name is ?. My specialty is turning into a pile of luggage, and the unique feature is being heavier than a pile of luggage!

“You really look like a Northern Grand Duke.”

“Could you please be quiet?”

“Hahahaha!”

“Please-“

“The Northern Grand Duke’s mouth is blocked, and my life is amazing,”

The guy who looked like the Northern Grand Duke lifted me with one arm while using the other to cover my mouth. Gasping.

“What’s happening now-“

“Oh, darn it! I said it’s amazing, and then my prayer almost got blocked!”

I stuck my tongue out and licked the palm of the guy who looked like the Northern Grand Duke, and I could finally breathe. He lifted me up properly and let out a sigh.

“Hey! Are you trying to make a hole in the ground like that?”

“You, generally, should, save your words-“

“Roar?”

“Sigh…”

“Hey, if you’re going to sigh so heavily, I’ll do it for you!”

As I gathered my breath until the end, something other than a sigh came out. For example, today’s meal.